So, I guess it's been two weeks now since we came home and we have not received any word about when we might be going back. At first I didn't want to even think about our next trip in terms of planning, or do any sort of preparation for when we bring B home. It seemed easier to sort of pack those mental boxes away until we had a definite date of when we were going back. Easier on my heart anyway. But then I read a devotional that a good friend is letting me borrow about faith and stepping out in faith. When God instructed the Israelites to cross the Jordon river, he told them the priest's feet had to be in the water before it would part. Faith steps. I started thinking what that would like in my life, and thought of planning and preparing for B coming home. We really have no idea when that will be, but my desire is to walk and act in faith, not in what feels comfortable to me. So, bring on the lists! :)
I also had another thought right around the same time about faith that I'm not totally sure about, but wanted to write down anyway. Aaron got me an amaryllis bulb for Valentine's Day and on the directions for how to plant and take care of it, it said it takes 8-10 weeks to bloom. My thought was to pray that B would be home by the time that flower has blossomed. Now, as another good friend reminded me, God's working and plan is not about our timelines, but I guess I thought maybe that would be a good thing to pray in faith for. His plan is good whether or not He answers Yes to that prayer, but it's sort of something tangible I guess in a situation full of unknowns. And, if I feel like as we go along, that is NOT something I should be praying for, I will gladly change my prayers. :)
The boys are doing great, and it has been so sweet to hear their thoughts about Hope and their desire for her to come home too. I asked Isaac the other day who his baby was, and he said Baby Hope, and then I asked him where she was and he said, "Efiopia." Love it. I think for Eli and Micah especially seeing the pictures of where she lives and the other babies and caregivers that are with her, has definitely helped make it more of a reality for them too. They loved hearing all our stories from our trip, and when we talk about it with others, they pipe up with their favorite parts.
I read this quote from the book One Thousand Gifts, and love it:
"The highest form of prayer is to the goodness of God...God only desires that our soul cling to him with all of its strength, in particular, that it clings to his goodness. For of all the things our minds can think about God, it is thinking upon his goodness that pleases him most and brings the most profit to our soul." Julian of Norwich