Saturday, September 24, 2011


Every so often I will have a dream about Hope. Sometimes she is home with us, sometimes we are over there with her, sometimes she is older, sometimes she is a baby. Last night she seemed to be her actual age, just coming out of being a baby, but not quite a toddler. I'm not sure where we were, but it was like we had been gone from her for a while. Someone handed her to me (I think it was maybe her caregivers?), and she wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder, and just held on to me. It was like she knew we had been gone, and now we were back and she just wanted to hold on. Oh, how I long for that day. For her to know the security and comfort of a mom and dad, who are there every day, who belong to her and she to us.

Sometime next week an appeal will be written and delivered to the sitting judge, asking her to change what the embassy is asking to be changed in our paperwork. Since the courts are closed, she is not required to change it, so I'm really not sure how great the chances are that she will. If she agrees, it will take few days to get that changed and resubmitted, and then we wait to hear back again from the embassy. They could come back again with more changes, or requests (so frustrating that they don't just tell you everything at once!), or we could receive our clearance. If the judge refuses the appeal, we will wait until October 10 or some day close to that when the courts reopen, and basically go through the same thing. I feel like I have let go of expectations again, and am as ready as I can be for whatever the news may be. If I have learned anything this process it is to hold expectations with an open hand, but hold on to the truths and promises, and character of Christ with clenched fists!

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