tangled

We actually did get an update yesterday. Our caseworker called Aaron (I think she may have needed a break from me and my emotions!), and he told me when he got home from work. So, what we thought would be pretty simple for the judge to do, actually has become WAY more complicated. Our case is reminding me of a tangled necklace, you get one knot undone, and only to find out that one is connected to another one and another one. Basically, the embassy needs the judge to confirm that the birthparents know their rights have been terminated. Only, it doesn't say that anywhere in our paperwork, so the judge said she can't do that. So, she wants the birthparents to come to Addis and appear before her, and basically say they know their rights have been terminated. What is complicated, other than the fact that her birthparents are in an area 8-9 hours away, is that it may not even be legal for them to travel right now. If they can't travel, our agency will have to see if they can appear before a judge in their town. And this only makes it possible for us to be re-submitted to the embassy, who just last month sent 60 cases to Nairobi Kenya to be investigated (in all of last year they only sent 10).

I don't think it's an accident that just yesterday I wrote about praying for God to move in a big way in our case. I don't even know what to pray for at this point, other than for God to do what only He can do, and for Him to show His power. I was also thinking more about the church in Acts 12 that was praying for Peter, and wondering what their prayers were like. I wonder what they were praying for, and guess that praying for an angel to come down in bodily form and remove Peter's chains, lead him through the prison, and unlock the gate was probably beyond what they could even imagine! But, that is what God does. He is unexpected, and does things beyond what we could ever dream.

I also had a picture in my mind last night as I was trying to fall asleep of what I feel like doing. I feel like closing off from everyone and just laying down, giving up. But then I thought about how in that position, alone and with all my defenses down, how vulnerable I would be to Satan's attacks. He wants me discouraged, defeated and alone. But, if I put on the armor of God-truth, righteousness, faith, God's Word, and surround myself with others who are doing the same, suddenly we are an army, ready to stand.

I thought too, that this whole situation and really our entire case, just sets the stage for God to show His greatness. There is truly no situation too impossible for Him to work, and that is what I am praying for. For His greatness to be known.

epiphany

Well, not much to say as far as an update goes. We are still waiting at this point for the judge to change our paperwork so we can be re-submitted to the embassy. And we thought this was supposed to be the "easy" part of the steps we have ahead of us! There are a lot of battles going on inside me, the temptation to give in to discouragement, despair, and doubt are just right there. But, I am holding on to Him. Or, probably more accurately, He is holding on to me. He is reminding me of His faithfulness, His power, His presence.

Yesterday at Bible study, our teaching leader was going through 2 Timothy 2, and this is what I heard: (I kept half-expecting her to turn to just me and say, okay Mary this is for you!)

Endure Hardship
Remember
Our strength is in Christ Jesus, it is His strength not ours
When we are faithless, He will remain faithful

And last night at bedtime I was reading the boys their Bible story (which 9 times out of 10 Aaron does), and it was about the Israelites crossing the Red Sea with Moses. There were a couple questions at the end which said,
"Did you ever think God made a mistake or could have done something better? God never makes a mistake. Ask for his wisdom and understanding when you think something is wrong. When you're in trouble, what is the best way out? Start with the Lord! Ask Him to help you. He may not make a path through the sea for you, but He will help you in the way that's best."

And then this morning I read in Streams in the Desert, about when Peter was in prison, and the angel came and led him out. He went to a house where many of his friends were gathered praying for him, and they were so shocked he was there they forgot to let him inside! Acts 12 :5 "All the time that Peter was under heavy guard in the jailhouse, the church prayed for him most strenuously."

Last Saturday, Aaron came up to me and said he had something he wanted to share with me, that He felt like was from the Lord. He said he knew I had been struggling with doubt about whether we should have even started this process with all the roadblocks we have faced. And that if God knew about the investigation our agency would go through, the changes that MOWA would implement, and the greater scrutiny the embassy would give adoption cases, that He must have known Hope would need a family who would stick with her. So, instead of looking at our situation and feeling like maybe we shouldn't have even done this, looking at it and thinking God chose us for her because we would not give up. I don't know why He thinks we can handle this, I feel like I have failed so miserably and my faith has been so weak, but maybe, just maybe (and by that I mean definitely) His plans and purposes are so far beyond what I can comprehend or imagine. I do think that was the Lord speaking through my husband, because I have heard that before from other loved ones in our life, but this time, I heard it.

I have felt lately a feeling of acceptance for what we are going through, and instead of trying so hard to get out of it, praying instead for God to show me how we wants me to act, and pray in it. I have been praying for His guidance as we continue on this journey. And right now, I am feeling led to pray for God to move in a major way. For Him to make a way through the sea where there is no way, for Him to clear the path that is before us, and do what only He can do in this adoption. He can do it, there is nothing too great or impossible for Him, and I believe in that power. Would you pray with us? Pray for our paperwork to be completed, translated perfectly and resubmitted to the embassy? And then would you pray that we are cleared with no additional steps? That in itself would be a miracle, but totally and completely possible through the Lord and His power.