Adoption stuff has been heavy and hard lately, no doubt about it. But I do have 3 very happy, energetic and fun little guys with me all day that are such a blessing to my heart. Eli is especially sensitive to my moods I think, and the last couple of weeks when I have been struggling he has asked me in this super cheerful little voice, "Mom, aren't you so glad you have 3 boys?!" I think he may be misinterpreting my feelings as negative toward he and his brothers which is not so good, but that question definitely brings me back to the reality right here in front of me. He will also catch my eye sometimes with this big grin, and move in closer and closer until I give one to him in return. I have not been the mom I want to be this last month, but starting this week I am determined, with the Lord's help, to stop allowing my feelings to rule. And, to truly believe that things don't have to make sense to me. It's okay, and actually probably better if they don't. What would that say about our God, if we understood His ways and plan all the time? Anyway, I wasn't even going to talk about adoption stuff!
So, this amaryllis bulb that Aaron gave me for Valentine's Day that was supposed to take 8-10 weeks to bloom? Well, it seems to be loving its life a little too much and looks ready to bloom any day. I seriously feel like I look at it throughout the day and it is growing. I am still praying about it though. :)
I finally took the boys to get haircuts last week. We always go with my grandma, and it is a fun tradition for all of us. Eli was getting very concerned he looked like a girl, so it was definitely time. I have also been on sort of a crafting kick lately. I am not very crafty, but I think I wish I was, and I do like projects. So, as long as they are easy and require no sewing I am willing to give it a try. It's been a good outlet for me, and fun to actually do something fun!
Aaron also made a trundle bed for Isaac which I am so thrilled about. I was scheming about changing around all of our bedrooms because the boys room was SO crammed with bunkbeds and a single bed, plus a dresser. When Andy was here I was telling him about my plans, and he said "What about a trundle bed?" And I was like What about a trundle bed?! And why in the world did it take my single 20-something brother to suggest such an obvious solution?? So, my very talented husband made one, and I have to say it looks so good. Like it was make for those bunk beds. And I can walk into their room without my blood pressure rising through the roof, and instantly being in a bad mood. Thanks Andy! :)
I was just thinking about what Eli said this week, Mary! Sometimes things can be so big and overwhelming, it's easy to overlook the little blessings right in front of us all of the time - I've been there. Your boys are very intuitive and very keyed in to you, especially Micah and Eli. Maybe that comes from being the oldest - kind of like their mom and me! Love you so much. All we can do is continually put Hope in the Lord's Hands. He will take care of her. (That doesn't make this time of waiting less difficult, though!)
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