Waiting

Our family, not yet complete. :)

I am terrible at waiting. It doesn't seem to matter what I am waiting for when I have an idea about something, I want to do it right away. Waiting up to this point for our baby has not been an issue. The paperwork was overwhelming and hard and seemed never-ending at times, but the end result was still fuzzy. I knew what we were working toward, but in a much less concrete way.
Now I have seen my baby. I have read and re-read everything there is to know about her. I have pored over every picture and studied her face so closely. And I want her home. I want to hold her and kiss her cheeks. Suddenly the wait is DRAGGING on, and it hasn't even been two months since we received her referral. The logical side of me knows we could easily have another 3 months before we even have a court date, which we may not even pass. If we dont' pass then we could wait another couple of months for a new court date, and another couple of weeks before we would travel after that. That is definitely a worst case scenario, but it could happen. All the while she is growing and changing.
We do have things to do to get ready for her, and I do have three other little balls of energy that need me, but I do think about her all day long. Wondering, praying, hoping that we will be with her soon.
Tonight we have our homestudy update (it's been a year already!), which I am not really concerned about at all. I need to do some cleaning, but our caseworker is super sweet, and does a great job at making you feel comfortable.
I am just in this funk about waiting, trying to prepare myself for the worst, but at the same time hoping so much for the best.